


A Night We'll Never Forget

by ahatedgoodbye



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 04:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1374214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahatedgoodbye/pseuds/ahatedgoodbye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Becoming desensitized would make me a monster. I mourn the unneeded loss of innocent life." After a particularly tough mission, Naruto needs to just let go. Kakashi gives him the means to do so.</p>
<p>Crack!Fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night We'll Never Forget

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a friend after she planted the seed in my head. Very crack-ish and probably really OOC. But hey, ninjas getting high. This is my first attempt at writing characters under the influence of drugs or alcohol (or both) so feedback would be fantastic!  
> I still don't know the technological advances in Konoha, so TVs, DVD players and phones are a thing.
> 
> RATED FOR LANGUAGE, ALCOHOL USE AND DRUG USE.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Becoming desensitized would make me a monster,” An orange-clad ninja reminded himself one cloudy night, the familiar burn of good sake gliding down his throat. “I am no monster. I mourn the unneeded loss of innocent life.” The saying was taught to everyone that graduates from the ninja academy, to prepare them to deal with the traumas of being a ninja.

Naruto and his team had returned that afternoon from a particularly grueling mission, and Naruto had seen the loss of many lives over the past few days, whether they be by his hand or not. He ordered another shot and closed his eyes, wishing he could abandon his emotions, even just for a bit.

Sighing, he shook his head and opened his eyes. He went through the saying, reminding himself once again that he can’t even think of doing that. It would make him a monster. The loss of innocent life is a big deal and not to be brushed over lightly. But even then, the pain from the past few days clawed their way through his memory, leaving scars behind them.

He took his shot just as his old sensei pulled up a stool next to him.

“Hello Naruto-kun.” He greeted, ordering a drink for himself. “Rough mission?”

Naruto nodded. Kakashi sighed sympathetically. “You want a drink?”

“Sure” Naruto agreed. “The buzz isn’t helping like it usually does, though.”

Kakashi’s visible eye widened. “That bad, huh?” Naruto nodded sadly. 

“What did you do to cope?” The blond ninja asked. “You must have seen some shit in your ANBU days.”

Kakashi smiled and nodded his head sadly. “Yeah I definitely saw my fair share. Perhaps more, and it’s never really something that you get used to, even when you’re supposed to.” The ANBU soldiers were trained to abandon their emotions and follow orders, like Naruto so badly wanted to do right now. He understood, nodding.

“Here,” Kakashi gestured under the counter. In his hand was a small box, a little bigger than a pack of cigarettes. Naruto grabbed it from his hand, shoving it in his pocket. “Take that home, maybe invite some friends over and have those. It will help, I promise.”

“Kakashi-sensei, is this w-” Naruto started to ask, but was silenced by a look from Kakashi, who slowly nodded. “You get a prescription after joining ANBU. Now go. Have fun.” Kakashi grinned under his mask. Naruto tossed some money on the counter for his drinks, thanked Kakashi and headed toward his apartment.

Naruto sat on his carpet an hour later, holding the box and waiting for his friends when the doorbell rang. He shoved the box under the pillow on the couch behind him and ran to answer the door.

“Kiba, what the hell? I told you to keep it quiet, not invite the whole town!!!” Naruto exlaimed to the shaggy-haired nin, who shrugged.

“Well I was with Shikamaru and Chouji when you called, so it would be rude, of course, not to invite them, and we passed both Shino and Neji on the way here. They were wondering where we were going, so we invited them too.” He explained.

“And what about Lee?”

“I FOLLOWED THE SMELL OF YOUTH!”

“We heard you got weed,” Chouji added, curious. “That true?”

“Yeah. All right, whatever, as long as the girls don’t find out. And grab your own damn drinks. I’m your host, not your bartender.” Naruto grumbled, stepping to the side and letting them all into his house.

“Course not dude. This is gonna be sweet, thanks man!”

“And you didn’t let that Dumbass Teme find out, did you?” Naruto asked. Kiba paled.

“Glad to be here too, Dobe. Thanks for the invite.” A snide voice came from the other side of the door. Naruto looked back, glaring. Sasuke walked in, closing the door behind him.

“No one invited you, Teme.”

“Alright then, I’ll just make my leave.” Sasuke smirked, turning to leave. Naruto interrupted before he could even take a step.

“Whatever, you can stay. Just don’t be too loud.” He glared, sitting down on the couch and grabbing the hidden box. Kiba sat to his left, and Shikamaru and Choji shared the other couch. Everyone else sat down on the floor, next to their various drinks.

“Alright, lets do this.” Naruto opened the package, looking in. There were 25 cylindrical objects in the box. He pulled one out, passing the package along and examining it. “Is this like one of your nasty cigarettes, Shikamaru?” He asked, earning a frown of annoyance from the dark haired man.

“Same idea, different execution. This is called a joint.” He pulled his lighter out and lit one end, letting the flame die and inhaling on the other end. Naruto copied him, coughing when he inhaled the smoke.

“Wow” he said, eyes watering slightly. “Well at least it’s not as gross as Shikamaru’s sticks of death. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Naruto smirked at him, then glanced at his rival.

“What’s the matter, Sasuke? Scared?” He taunted. Sasuke looked up, glaring.

“I haven’t gotten the lighter yet, dumbass” He sneered, taking the lighter from Shino and lighting his joint. He took a toke, managing to suppress the urge to cough. Naruto frowned, taking another.

Many tokes later, the group finished up their joints. Shikamaru laid down on the couch while Naruto, Kiba and Choji made a beeline to the kitchen to make some snacks for the group. Sasuke excused himself to the washroom. 

“Maaaaan I’m so hungry. You’ve got nothing to eat!” Kiba complained. Naruto shrugged.

“Whatever man I juuust got back from a mission. Gimme a break dude.”

“Lets go grab some food, guys!!” Chouji piped in, mouth watering.

“Yeah man, lets go do it.” Kiba agreed, grabbing his coat. Naruto was about to voice his agreement as well, when he was interrupted by a knock at the door. Naruto walked over, forgetting to check to see who was at the door before opening it.

“Hey Naruto, have you seen Sasuke? I’ve been looking all over for hi-” Sakura asked, worried. She paused and took a quick sniff of the room, turning on Naruto. “NARUTO UZUMAKI WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE? IS THAT WEED I SMELL?” She shrieked.

“Sakura-chaaan. Calm dowwwn.” Naruto pleaded. “It’s ok!” He said, laughing.

“IT’S VERY MUCH NOT OK.” She turned to the rest of the group. “You’re all doing this? All of you??” Kiba was the only one to answer her.

“Sakura-chan it’s alright. Calm down. Here! Have one.” He offered, pulling a joint from the box and offering it to her. 

“No way!” She scoffed, eyeing the offending object.

A small voice called from the door. “Neji-kun?”

“Eyyyyy, Hinata-chan! Come join us!!” He called to Hinata, who walked in, followed by Tenten and Ino.

“Um, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” She smiled timidly. She pulled a chair from the kitchen up next to Kiba, who started helping her with her own joint.

“HINATA NOT YOU TOO” Sakura wailed. Ino took a seat next to Shikamaru, lifting his legs and placing them on her lap. He smiled at her. “It’s fine Sakura.” He said to her, eyes never leaving Ino. “Just relax.”

She gave an exasperated sigh. “Sasuke-kun would never do this.”

“Well, speak of the devil.”Naruto grinned, looking up. Sasuke just gave a ‘Hn’, but he dragged the syllable out for a few seconds.

“Oh my god, not you too!” She sighed. “Well…alright. Pass me one.” She said to Kiba, who eagerly handed her a joint and a lighter. “Ugh, what would Kakashi-sensei say of us now?” She shuddered. Naruto burst out laughing.

“Who the hell do you think gave me this?” He laughed. “Kakashi-sensei is the reason we’re all here!”

“What?” Sakura sighed. “Alright, should have seen that one coming. It makes sense.”

They all laughed.

“But what about the food?” Chouji complained.

“Right! OK! Kiba, Chouji and I,” He pointed to them respectively before pointing at himself. “Will go get food. Sakura-chan, you’re in charge.” Naruto told the group.

“Alright.” Sakura said simply.

The guys left, leaving only the girls, Shikamaru, Shino, Lee, Sasuke and Neji.

“Soo….what now?” Ino asked, breaking the awkward silence. She took a toke and blew it in Shikamaru’s face playfully, and he smiled back at her.

“I know,” Tenten smiled. “Let’s play truth or dare.”

“I believe that would be a fantastic idea!” Lee exclaimed, fists pumping in the air.

“What are we, 6?” Sakura asked rhetorically. Tenten laughed.

“Scared, Sakura?” Ino teased. Sakura blushed.

“No, I just don’t think we should play kids games.”

“You ARE scared!” Ino smirked.

“I AM NOT!” Sakura shrieked.

Ino’s smirk grew to a full grin. “Then let’s play.” She challenged.

“Fine.” The ninjas all gathered in a circle. Sasuke grabbed one of Naruto’s empty beer bottles and spun it to decide who would challenge first. The neck of the bottle landed on Neji, who grinned evilly. 

“Aw yeah. Shika, Truuuth or Daaare?” 

“Ugggghhhh. What a drag. Truth.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?”

Shikamaru glared at him. “Last week. Thursday.” He looked down, a subtle blush creeping across his cheeks. No one missed Neji’s triumphant smirk, either. Ino raised an eyebrow.

“Shika, your turn.” 

“Sasuke, Truth or Dare.”

“Dare.” Shikamaru thought for a moment, then gave a lazy, yet evil grin.

“I dare you to run from here to the top of Hokage Mountain… naked. No jutsu or tricks either. You’re doing this.”

“I fucking hate you.” Sasuke called to his darer as he stripped down, ignoring the ogling of the girls and the laughter of the boys. He disappeared out the window, returning 5 minutes later and breathing a little harder.

“Bit drafty there, mate?” Shikamaru laughed. Sasuke flipped him off and put his clothes back on.

“Your turn, Sasuke.” Ino reminded him.

“Hn. Fine. Uh, Tenten, Truth or Dare?”

“Oh, I guess…Truth.”

“I don’t care. What’s your favourite color?”

“Red. Sweet! Ino, Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.” She answered cautiously.

“Who has your virginity?” Ino flushed bright red.

“S..Shikamaru.” She admitted. Shikamaru smiled at her, ignoring a few gasps and Tenten’s uttered ‘knew it!’ Ino smiled back.

“HEY EVERYONE! WE BROUGHT FOOD!!” Naruto and Kiba burst in, followed by Chouji who was currently eating a whole chicken, limb by limb.

“Fuuuucking finally.” Sasuke swore, grabbing a bowl of Ramen from the bag. Shikamaru laughed and Naruto gave him a curious look, but said nothing.

“We got every easy food we could think of from the supermarket,” Kiba bragged, “and a bowl for everyone were waiting for us at Ichiraku ramen. Apparently Gai-sensei, Kurenai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei knew we’d ALL be hungry.” Kiba gave a salute to the window. “They’re good people, those teachers of ours.”

“Amen.” The group chorused, with an extra ‘THANK YOU VERY MUCH GAI-SENSEI’ from Lee. Naruto and Kiba handed everyone’s bowls to them, and took their own, digging in immediately.

“Fuuuuuck I was so hungry.” Sakura said between bites. “Why am I so hungry?”

“It’s like your metabolism or some shit.” Ino answered her. “Weed fucks with it man.”

“SO I CAN EAT AND NOT GAIN WEIGHT?” Sakura screamed excitedly.

“Dude I have no idea how it works.” Ino shrugged. Everyone continued eating in silence.

“What now?” Naruto asked, finishing the last of his bowl of ramen and starting on one of the bags of chips.

“We were playing Truth or Dare before you guys got here.” Neji responded, grinning. “You guys missed some pretty funny stuff.

“Like what?” Kiba demanded, eyes wide. “I can’t believe you guys did that without us!” 

Shikamaru laughed. “Well for one you missed Sasuke-” Shikamaru started, sitting up, but was interrupted by a chopstick embedding itself in the wall next to his head.

“Not. Another. Fucking. Word.” Sasuke growled. Shikamaru shrugged, chuckling.

“Alright, alright.” He agreed, much to Naruto’s disappointment. 

“What? Nooooo I wanna knoooow.” He whined. Shikamaru shrugged.

“Sorry dude.”

“Well, shall we continue?” Hinata asked, smiling. By now, everyone had finished their joints and had a nice high going.

“Yeah! My turn!” Ino laughed. “Kiba, truth or dare.”

“Ugh, usually I’d pick dare because it’s the not lame option, but I just don’t feel like moving right now. Truth.” He replied, sitting on the floor and leaning back on the chair that Neji was sitting on.

“Oooh…ok. Who is one GUY here who you would bang?”

“Ewww no dude. Gay is ok but I am DEFINITELY not gay.” Kiba shuddered.

“Just answer it. We know you’re not gay, dude.” Ino sighed.

“Uhhh, Sasuke I guess. He’s the closest looking to a female of the dudes here.” Everyone burst out laughing, and Kiba shrugged, ignoring the glare of death said ninja was giving him. 

“Fuck you man.” Sasuke replied.

“No thanks dude. Just because I had to give a name doesn’t mean I actually want to bang you.” Kiba replied, laughing. Sasuke was about to rip his head off when there was a knock on the door.

“I wonder who that could possibly be?” Lee inquired as Naruto got up to answer the door.

“Oh, hey Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei! What’s shaking?”

“Naruto-kun. I see you’ve made use of what I’ve given you.” He gave his signature one-eyed smile and continued. “I brought something else for you guys. May I come in?”

“Of course, Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto smiled, stepping to the side and gesturing inside. Kakashi entered, smiling at the group.

“Hey guys! How’s everyone doing tonight?” He asked the group, who cheered.

“We’re awesome, thanks to you, Kakashi-sensei!” Chouji laughed, and Kiba jumped up to put his arm around the taller ninja.

“This guy, man. This guy is awesome, everyone. Just awesome!” Kiba swayed, turning over to Gai and slung an arm around his shoulder, so he was in between the two teachers. “This guy too, broskis. These guys are awesome.” He laughed.

Hinata, who had really come out of her shell after finishing her joint, laughed as she chastised her teammate.

“Kiiiba,” She laughed. “Sit down.” 

“Sakura-san, I must admit I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you would be against this.” Kakashi questioned her, and she replied with a shrug.

“It’s prescribed to the ANBU for a reason, Kakashi-sensei. I guess it can’t be too bad.” She replied, shrugging and taking a sip from a vodka cooler she had drinking. 

“That’s fair.” He replied simply, placing the pack of beer he brought on the counter and setting his bag on the floor, digging through it. “Those are alright,” he started, gesturing to the now-empty box on the table. “But this is way better.” He pulled something out of his bag, wrapped in bubble wrap. “They’re tricky to find here. I got this in the earth country a while ago. It’s a bong.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of those!” Tenten exclaimed. “They’re supposed to be a lot of fun!”

“They definitely are,” Kakashi started unwrapping it, placing the pieces together. “Naruto-san can you grab me a cup of water?” He asked the blond, who complied. Kakashi finished setting up and turned to address the group. “Alright, who wants to go first?” After a few seconds of silence, Shino sighed.

“You all hesitate. Pass it here, I know what to do.”

“What? Shino, how do you know what to do?” Ino asked.

“How do I know what to do, you wonder? It’s simple. I have millions of bugs living in my body. That is hardly a comfortable thing. My clan has been using marijuana for generations to help with this. Why do you think I’m always wearing glasses?” He answered. The group sat back, stunned.

“That….explains so much.” Kiba finally uttered as Shino took a toke from the bong, clearing the small bowl.

“Ok, I’ll help whoever wants to go next.” Kakashi suggested to the group. Sasuke moved from his seat on the floor to sit next to Kakashi.

“I’ll go,” he offered. Kakashi nodded.

“Alright, when I light the lighter, breathe in. I’ll do the rest.” Kakashi instructed him. Sasuke nodded back, getting ready. Kakashi lit the lighter, and Sasuke breathed in at the top of the bong. Kakashi, who hadn’t packed the bowl too big, let Sasuke take the whole thing before removing the bowl. Sasuke almost managed to clear the entire bong before he leaned back and coughed, smoke escaping from his mouth and nose. Kakashi covered the holes on the bong as Sasuke finished his coughing fit.

“Holy shit” he uttered out between coughs. “Wow.”

“Here, finish the smoke in here.” Kakashi held out the bong, hands still on the holes. Sasuke complied.

“Wow, you coughed a lot there Sasu-chaan.” Naruto teased.

“Shut the fuck up, dobe.” Sasuke growled. “And don’t you DARE call me that again.” He stood up to grab a beer from Naruto’s fridge as Ino moved to take her hit. One by one the Shinobi took their hits from the bong, and everyone grabbed more food and drinks for themselves while waiting. Finally, it was Gai’s turn.

“Kakashi Hatake, I challenge you! Challenge # 682. Whoever can hold their toke from the bong longer will win this one!” Gai exclaimed. Kakashi sighed.

“Alright. I’ll light yours, you light mine.” Gai’s eye twinkled.

“Yes! Then it is truly fair! Naruto-kun, do you have a stopwatch?” Naruto nodded, grabbing it from a drawer in his kitchen. “Shino, since you’re the one most experienced with this, why don’t you time us? You’re probably the most sober of the group.” Shino nodded. Naruto tossed him the stopwatch, and Gai got ready to take his go.

“Ready…set…go!” Kakashi timed, and Gai took his toke, holding it in. Some time passed, and eventually he exhaled, a huge puff of smoke escaping his lips.

“Very well done, Gai-sensei!” Lee smiled, jumping and giving his teacher a hug.

“Thank you Lee. Kakashi, it is your turn!” Gai turned to him and Kakashi gave him the lighter. He packed another bowl and looked at Shino, who nodded, informing them that he was ready.

“Alright.” They counted down, and Kakashi repeated what Gai had just done. He managed to hold it down for almost exactly the same time that Gai had, and there was no clear winner, so everyone turned to Shino.

“The winner, by half a second exactly…is…” Shino started, dragging out the anticipation. “Kakashi!”

“Noooo!” Gai cried, turning to his eternal rival. “You have bested me, so we are now even.” He informed him.

“You did your best, Gai-sensei, and for that I am very proud of you!” Lee exclaimed, hugging his sensei again.

“Thank you, Lee!” Gai exclaimed, hugging his student back.

“Nice one, Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura congratulated her teacher.

“Suh, neh can nie pway truf or daaa?” Tenten asked, mouth full of the handful of chips she had just stolen from Neji’s bag. Everyone turned to look at her, confused and unable to decipher what she had just said. She giggled and swallowed, repeating herself.

“So, now can we play truth or dare?” A collective ‘oh’ of understanding and laughter rose from the group. 

“Hell yeah! My turn!” Kiba fist-pumped the air. “Kakashi! TRUTH! OR! DARE?” Kiba emphasized each word, and Kakashi looked up, a faint smile creeping on his lips under the mask.

“Truth.” He responded, looking at Kiba, who frowned.

“Fuck! I wanted you to pick dare. Umm…ok.” Kiba scratched his head, thinking. Ino got up and whispered in his ear. Kiba shook his head “I’m not asking him that!” He laughed. Ino whispered something else into his ear and he nodded.

“Alright, Kakashi-sensei. How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Kiba asked simply, cocking his head.

“Twelve. It was for a mission.” Kakashi replied, tone heavy and looking at the ground. He then looked up, chuckling. “She was pretty hot, though, so it was ok!” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Naruto burst out laughing, and after a few seconds he was wheezing, which made everyone else laugh at him.

“Dude what the fuck is wrong with your laugh?” Neji asked when he caught his breath. Naruto, who was laughing even harder with everyone, just shook his head.

“Alright Kakashi, your turn!” Chouji reminded him. He nodded.

“Uh…Neji, truth or dare?”

“I’ll take a risk. Dare.”

“KISS TENTEN” Ino piped up. Tenten blushed. 

“It’s Kakashi-san’s decision, Ino!” She shrieked at the other girl. Kakashi simply shrugged.

“Sure.” He said, and Neji turned to his teammate.

“Do you mind?” He asked her. She shook her head. Neji tilted her chin up, kissing her softly at first, then became a bit more aggressive. It lasted a few seconds, and they broke away. Neji winked at her, and she laughed. The guys all cheered, and the girls let out a chorused “Aww!”

“Alright, my turn.” Neji looked to the group. “Saaakura, Truth or Dare.”

“Truth. No way am I risking dare.” She replied. Neji thought for a moment.

“Who was the subject of your first wet dream?” He asked. Sakura flushed a bright red.

“W-well…”

“Spit it out!” Ino squealed.

“I-it was…”

“Hmm?” Tenten egged her on.

“KAKASHI. It was Kakashi.” She turned a dangerous shade of red, and various exclamations of “WHAT?” came from Naruto, Ino, Tenten and even Hinata and Sasuke. Kakashi’s cheeks gained a faint pink tint along the mask line.

“Shut up. He was a hot teacher, can you blame me?” She slowly returned to a normal complexion and continued the game.

“Ok, Shino, Truth or Dare?”

“Truth. Why did I pick this, you ask?” He started, but was interrupted by Kiba

“Because you had to pick one!” Kiba answered Shino’s question for him. Shino looked slightly annoyed but otherwise let it go.

“When was the last time your masturbated?” She asked, and Shino tensed.

“Tuesday.” He replied shortly. “Naruto, Truth or Dare?”   
“Yeah, finally! Dare!” He replied ecstatically. “ Bring it on!”

“I do not know what to pick. Anyone, do you have any ideas?” He asked the group.

“Do a body-shot off of Sasuke-kun!” Hinata suggested, and everyone laughed. Ino high-fived Hinata.

“WHAT? NO FUCKING WAY.” Sasuke shook his head.

“Party pooper!” Shikamaru called, taunting him. “What’s wrong, scared?”

“The fuck would I be scared of?” He sneered back, and Shikamaru laughed.

“That Naruto’s tongue will be so good..” He started, but Naruto cut him off. 

“THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT.” He smiled, turning to Shino. “I’m not one to back down, so this one’s up to Sasuke.”

“Is that a challenge?” Sasuke called to the blond. Naruto simply shrugged. “Fine! Let’s fucking get this over with.”

“Sure.” Shino nodded. “You must take a tequila shot off of Sasuke-kun’s chest. Put some salt somewhere in his torso too, but the lime has to be in his mouth. You must do all three.” Naruto blushed, and Sasuke sighed, removing his shirt. He moved to the counter, lying down there while Naruto grabbed the tequila and a shot glass. Sakura poured a line of salt on Sasuke’s chest, from the last rib down to his belly button. Shino cut up a lime and gave Sasuke a piece, which he put between his lips.

Naruto grabbed the shot he poured and placed it on Sasuke’s chest.

“Ready?” He asked Sasuke.

“What part of ‘Get it fucking over with’ don’t you understa-ah!” Sasuke started but was startled with Naruto’s tongue running from his navel to ribs. Naruto took the shot and moved to Sasuke’s lips, taking the lime with his mouth. Sasuke would have denied it to the grave, but his pulse quickened when Naruto’s lips brushed his. Naruto leaned up, eating the lime and putting both arms in the air. The group cheered and wolf-whistled, and Naruto bowed. A slightly-flustered Sasuke put his shirt back on and sat down.

“Lee, Truth or Dare?” Naruto asked.

“Yos! I will pick truth!” Lee smiled at his friend.

“Uh..Have you ever kissed anyone?” Naruto asked, genuinely curious.

“Yes, I have!” Lee answered proudly, earning more than one shocked gasp.

“WHAT?” Tenten exclaimed. “WHO DID YOU KISS?” she demanded, shaking him.

“No, Tenten. The question was have I, not who!” Lee laughed.

“DAMNIT LEE YOU WILL ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME YOU WILL HURT.” She threatened. 

“Alright!” Lee surrendered. “It was…Gaara. He kissed me.” Lee blushed. Tenten squealed and hugged her teammate.

“Awwwww!” The girls congratulated him, while the guys sat there in shock.

“What.” Kiba started.

“The.” Naruto continued.

“Fuck.” Chouji finished.

“Gai-sensei, Truth or Dare?” Lee asked his teacher. Gai thought for a minute before replying.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to sing and dance to a song of your choosing!” Lee challenged his teacher. Gai laughed.

“Alright!” Gai accepted, grabbing his mp3 player and setting it to play through Naruto’s speakers. Careless Whisper by George Michaels started playing, and everyone groaned and turned away, except Lee, who cheered his sensei on the whole time. When he was finished, Lee broke into enough applause for everyone.

“WELL DONE GAI-SENSEI!”

“Thank you, Lee!”

“Well, now that everyone’s gone, why don’t we play something else?” Sakura asked.

“Never have I ever?” Ino suggested.

“I don’t have any hard liquor, except for that tequila and there isn’t that much left.” Naruto pointed out.

“We’ll just do it for every 5, you have to chug a beverage.” Shikamaru supplied, and the group nodded. Everyone went to refresh beverage and moved so that they were sitting in a circle formation. Lee, Gai, Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Kiba were on the floor, Neji was in an armchair with Tenten sitting on his lap, Ino, Shikamaru and Hinata were on the couch, Shino was on the other armchair and Chouji had seated himself on the chair that Hinata had dragged in from the kitchen earlier. The room was crowded, but cozy. 

“Who would like to go first?” Lee asked. 

“Never have I ever…had sex in a public place.” Hinata started, taking the initiative. Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, Kakashi, and Ino all sighed, putting up a finger.

“Never have I ever had sex while drunk or high.” Shino continued. More sighs throughout the room, and everyone else, except Lee, added a finger.

“Lots of drunk sex, I assume.” Chouji added, before continuing. “Uh…never have I ever caught an STI or STD.” He suggested. No one changed scores, and he smiled. “Well that’s good, at least!”

“Never have I ever been caught masturbating.” Lee tried, and he caught a couple of groans. Chouji, Kiba, Sakura and Tenten added points.

“Never have I ever read porn or ‘erotic literature’ in public.” Gai said, laughing.

“Oh come on.” Kakashi said, adding a finger to his count. Naruto and Sasuke both added points as well, much to everyone’s amusement.

“Like teacher, like students!” Neji laughed.

“Never have I ever gone commando.” Kakashi glared at his rival, earning some shocked glances and a whispered ‘really?’. Kakashi turned back to the group.

“What? You’re surprised?” He asked. They nodded.

“You seem like the type that would!” Kiba stated. Kakashi looked offended.

“Ouch.” Lee, Gai and Ino all added points to their tally and continued.

“Never have I ever had sex with 2 different people within 24 hours of each other.” Naruto said, watching reactions. Kakashi, Sasuke, Neji, Ino, Shikamaru and shockingly Shino all added points.

“Never have I ever…umm…” Sasuke started, thinking. “Never have I ever watched porn.” He said finally.

“Does reading count?” Kakashi asked.

“No, we’ve already done that.” Sasuke replied simply. Shino, Chouji, Tenten, Neji and Hinata, to everyone’s shock, added points. She got a raised eyebrow from her cousin, and laughed.

“Never have I ever tried anal. Top or bottom.“ Sakura stated. Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, and Kakashi all added fingers. Sasuke, Kakashi and Neji all proceeded to grab their drinks, clinking bottles.

“Bottoms up!” Kakashi called, and the three started chugging.

“Everyone keep their scores, save for those three.” Shikamaru instructed. When they were finished drinking, Kiba continued.

“Never have I ever had a threesome.” He tried, and Hinata, Ino and Sakura all laughed, adding points. Ino picked up her drink and chugged the rest, getting up to grab another and leaving everyone else wondering what the hell just happened. 

“Never have I ever….” Neji started, pausing to think for a moment. “Never have I ever sunbathed naked.” He tried, earning a laugh from Naruto.

“You gotta try it sometime dude. It’s pretty great.” He said, adding a finger to his tally, along with Tenten, Lee, Gai and Kakashi.

“Never have I ever fallen asleep during sex.” Tenten giggled, earning a sigh from her left. 

“What a drag.” Shikamaru added a point, taking his drink and chugging the rest. He got up to grab a drink as well, and the game continued.

“Never have I ever had sex on a mission with a teammate. When it wasn’t, like, a part of the mission.” She added. Neji and Tenten paled, each adding a finger before Tenten burst into giggles. Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, Ino and Chouji also added points. Tenten and Naruto reached for their glasses, cheering before chugging the rest of their drinks.

“Never have I ever had sex on the Hokage’s desk.” Shikamaru drawled, earning a glare from both Naruto and Sasuke, and a shocked look from Kakashi.

“How did you..?” Kakashi started, adding a finger. Shikamaru shrugged. He had actually been referring to the time he had walked in on Naruto and Sasuke going at it in the Hokage’s office, but he wasn’t going to outright say it.

“Who wants to do more hits?” Gai asked, digging out the bag of weed from Kakashi’s bag again and setting up. Everyone gave various approvals, ranging from Sasuke’s grin and uttered ‘Fuck yes’ to Kiba and Naruto’s cheering. They passed the bong around, smoking the rest of Gai and Kakashi’s weed. After taking her hit, Hinata laid her head back of the couch and started singing quietly to herself.

“…Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true, Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up 'Cause I've had enough.” Hinata finished, looking up.

“You were there by my side,” Ino continued, smiling. “Always down for the ride, But your joy ride just came down in flames 'cause your greed sold me out in shame.”

“After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong” Sakura joined in.

“'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through.” Tenten added. “So I wanna say thank you, cause it….” She prepared, pausing for effect.

“Makes me that much stronger, Makes me work a little bit harder, It makes me that much wiser, So thanks for making me a fighter, Made me learn a little bit faster, Made my skin a little bit thicker, Makes me that much smarter, So thanks for making me a fighter!” They sung together, breaking out into giggles at the end. The guys all stared, stunned.

“What the fuck just happened?” Neji said, breaking the moments of silence that followed the singing. The girls just broke into more giggles.

“Who knew they could sing?” Kakashi commented, making the girls blush.

“You guys want to watch Jackass?” Kiba asked, flipping through Naruto’s DVD collection.

“Fuuuuuuck yess.” Tenten agreed. Neji hi-fived her, laughing. Everyone else didn’t seem to mind, so Kiba plugged the movie into the player. Naruto ran around his apartment, grabbing all of the blankets and pillows he could find. He threw them in the living room, moving the coffee table out of the way. He, Sakura and Hinata set everything up and Chouji popped some popcorn for everyone. They got comfy, and Hinata started the movie. The group laughed, cheered and eventually nodded off.

After the movie, Lee, who was the only one who managed to stay up through the entire thing, realized everyone had fallen asleep. He got up to turn the TV and all of the lights in the apartment off. After drinking a glass of water, he laid back down, curled up in between Shino and his sensei, and finally, he too succumbed to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> http://a-hated-goodbye.tumblr.com/image/80784993953 The picture that started it all. I hope you enjoyed!


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